Just like the real thing, but (like Gob's bananas) it won't make you sick and kill you.

These are pretty self explanatory. English muffin, "sausage", "egg", "cheese". Cook, assemble, eat. Here's how to veganize it:

Preheat your oven to 350º.
~ Form some "Gimmie Lean" sausage into patties, and sautee in a little bit of oil until browned.
~ While the sausage is cooking, slice up a piece of vegan cheese.
~ Place the finished patty on an untoasted English muffin bottom, and put the cheese on top.
~ Slice a piece of tofu into a thin round shape, and coat with a mixture of nutritional yeast, a bit of turmeric, and just a pinch of salt.
~ Sautee the tofu in the same oil you used for the sausage, until it gets a nice golden color on both sides.
~ Place the "egg" on top of the cheese.
~ You can add a 2nd sausage patty now, or just top the whole thing with the English muffin top.
~ Place it in the oven and bake until the muffin has browned. This will also keep the rest of the ingredients nice and hot.

Enjoy!

HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD AND BABY JESUS! There is a light over at the Frankenstein place.

Yes, folks - vegan mac and cheese. And it wasn't good, it was AMAZING. One of my favorite dishes used to be baked mac & cheese with bread crumb topping, and after giving up on soy cheeses, I just figured it would be something I never ate again. BUT - thanks to the inspiration I've gotten from a good vegan friend, I have been messing around with the vegan cheeses lately, and I have become a MASTER. So to all you non-believers out there, I say PEACE, stop playing those games.

INGREDIENTS
3 c cooked & drained pasta (I used penne, but the classic elbow macs would work well too)

1 heaping tablespoon Earth Balance
3/4 c unsweetened soymilk
1 c shredded Follow Your Heart cheese (make it about 90% cheddar and throw in some jack as well, if you can)
1 TB nutritional yeast (optional - I just love the stuff)
1 tsp dry mustard
pinch cayenne
pinch paprika
salt & pepper to taste
1 TB cornstarch (and mix in water, of course)

1/4 c extra cheese shreds
1/4 c bread crumbs
2 tsp extra EB

INSTRUCTIONS
Preheat your oven to 420º. (four twenty!)
Melt the EB over medium-low heat in a saucepan. Stir in the milk, then add the cheese and all spices.
Turn up the heat to medium-high and stir constantly. When it starts bubbling, add in the cornstarch.
Keep stirring until everything is well incorporated and the sauce thickens.
Put the pasta in the sauce and and stir until every piece is coated.
Transfer this to a casserole dish and put the extra 1/4 c cheese shreds on top, then sprinkle the bread crumbs on top of that. Dab the EB on top in little bits all around the casserole.
Put it in the oven for about 12 - 15 minutes. If it looks like it's drying out, pour a few teaspoons of vegetable broth all around.
Once everything inside looks good and melty, cover it with foil and bake for a final 10 - 12 minutes.
If you like the top to be a little burnt, like I do, at this point take the foil off and turn the broiler on high for 4 minutes.

Cruelty-free mac and cheese heaven.
You're welcome.

I mastered vegan alfredo the other night, and I knew throwing in some pesto would be amazing. Since I've posted my pesto recipe before, I'm gonna tell you all about mega easy vegan alfredo.

Vegan Alfredo Sauce
INGREDIENTS
4 TB Earth Balance
1 c unsweetened rice milk
1/3 c vegan parmesan (I used Galaxy Foods)
1 TB cornstarch (and water)
1 - 2 TB nutritional yeast (optional)
salt & pepper to taste
tiny bit of nutmeg
(approximate)

INSTRUCTIONS
Melt the EB in a saucepan over low heat.
Add in the milk and whisk until thoroughly mixed.
Turn the healt up to medium and add in the parmesan.
While that heats up, mix the cornstarch and water until smooth, then whisk in the pan.
Add in the remaining ingredients, bring to a small boil, and whisk occasionally until thick and smooth.

If it's not thick enough, add in more cornstarch. Just be sure that you ALWAYS mix cornstarch in water before you add it to anything. (Otherwise you'll get lumps.)

If you're going for pesto alfredo...
Once this is done, add a giant scoop of pesto and stir until it's all incorporated. You can add as much or as little as you like. If you want, add a squeeze of lemon at this point. Toss in some pasta and enjoy!!

White Bean Salad
This is one of the most simple dishes to make, and it's unexpectedly striking. Serve it a little cold or brought to room temperature.

INGREDIENTS
1 can of white beans, drained and rinsed
2 TB olive oil
1 TB Balsamic vinegar
3 cloves minced garlic
2 tsp rosemary
salt & pepper to taste

INSTRUCTIONS
Put all ingredients except beans in a bowl and mix. Then toss this mixture over the beans and let marinate for about an hour before serving.

Vegan Lemon Bars
original recipe found here: http://xtrinity.com/wasabimon/2007/03/isas_vegan_lemon_bars.html


Crust:

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

2/3 cup powdered sugar

1/4 cup cornstarch

1 cup non-hydrogenated margarine (I used EB)



Filling:

1 1/3 cups water

3 tablespoons agar agar flakes

1 1/4 cups sugar

1/8 teaspoon tumeric

2/3 cup fresh lemon juice

3 tablespoons arrowroot powder

1 tablespoon finely grated lemon zest (from two large lemons)

1/4 cup soymilk



Extra powdered or confectioners' sugar to decorate finished bars


Lightly grease a 13 x 9 inch baking pan.



Pulse flour, powdered sugar and cornstarch in food processor. Add margarine in spoonfuls and blend, 8 to 10 seconds, and then pulse until mixture resembles coarse meal. Sprinkle mixture into prepared baking pan and press firmly into an even layer with slightly raised sides to hold in the filling. 


Preheat oven to 350 F. Refrigerate for about 30 minutes and then bake for 40 minutes; remove from oven and let cool. Meanwhile, prepare the filling.



In a sauce pot, soak the agar agar in the water for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, zest your lemons and squeeze your lemon juice. Mix the arrowroot into the lemon juice to dissolve.



When the agar has been soaking for 15 minutes, turn the heat up and bring to a boil. Boil for about 10 minutes, or until the agar is completely dissolved. Add the sugar and tumeric and boil until dissolved, about 3 minutes. Lower the heat to medium and add the arrow root and lemon juice mixture, then add the lemon zest and soy milk. Wisk constantly until the mixture thickens, about 5 minutes. It should not be rapidly boiling, but lowly bubbling is ok.


Pour the mixture into the prepared crust, let cool for 20 minutes and then refrigerate for at least 3 hours, until the filling is only slightly jiggly and set. Use a sifter or a fine mesh strainer for sprinkle the bars with powdered sugar. Slice into squares and serve.

Ingredients:
Soy Delicious Vanilla
Peanut Butter
Soft Peanut Brittle (TJ's and Safeway both have vegan ones)
Santa Cruz Organic Chocolate Syrup

Put them all in a blender and pulse on mix until just combined. This could make a shake too, just add non-dairy milk until you reach the desired consistency.

Top with a peanut brittle wedge and chocolate syrup... or some vegan whipped cream.

Save some of that pesto to make croutons once the rest of your baguette goes stale! Homemade croutons are so easy, and so tasty we like to eat them as a snack. (But I prefer them atop homemade soup.)

The bread must be stale, between 2-3 days old. If you use soft fluffy fresh bread, it will crumble to pieces. You can really saw a knife through stale bread, and you have to to make these cubes. So do that, then melt some EB in a frying pan. Put in the bread, and stir it around so that every piece has some EB on it. Stir occasionally for the next few minutes, then add enough pesto to coat every cube.
You might think these are done before they're done, but trust me, you want them to be good and brown. Croutons should be crunchy!

Alternatively, to make regular croutons....
Instead of "some" EB, put a whole buttload of it in the pan. Melt it while swirling in rosemary, thyme, oregano... any combination of your favorite spices. You really can't go wrong. Definitely put in a bunch of minced garlic, but be careful not to burn it once the EB has soaked into the bread.

Homemade croutons are God's gift to single and double people who can never finish a whole loaf of bread while it's still fresh.

Pesto is so easy to make, and fantasically delicious. All it is is basil, garlic, walnuts or pine nuts, olive oil, and traditionally parmesan pee, which you can omit all together or replace with Vegan Parm or nutritional yeast.

I use about 3 bunches of basil, a handful of walnuts, damn near a half a head of garlic, and enough olive oil to bring it to the right consistency. I throw in the Vegan Parm, salt, and pepper to taste. I love just eating this on bread, like in the pic, but it also works beautifully on pasta.

Just take all the ingredients and puree. A food processor is essential. I used to use a teeny tiny food chopper, which still produced good results, but ever since I got the mega food processor, my pesto has been marvelously smooth. Pesto just might be my all-time favorite appetizer.

Another from "Vegan with a Vengeance"

Fresh Produce from 2/9/08




6 Russet Potatoes
4 carrots
1 bunch celery
garlic
onion
red pepper
jalapeno
NINE lemons

Total Cost: $14
Organic Content: 100% baby!

(P.S. I had to get some more russets at the store... 4 of them cost me $5, I got six of them (huge mothers, too!) for like $4.50 at the FM. The lemons alone would have cost 9 bucks at the grocery store!)

Four things are happenning here....



1.) Polenta with Spinach, Sundried Tomatoes, & Basil
2.) Grilled Broccoli Rabe
3.) Soy Meatballs in marinara
4.) Mozzarella Toasts

This is a heck of a lot easier than it looks. You can make the polenta in advance and reheat it. I actually made a big batch of it a week ago and stuck some in the freezer. Here's how you make it:

Polenta
1.) Guilty #1: I used store-bought polenta*. Take a roll of it, put it in a bowl, and throw in about 1/4 cup unflavored soymilk and lots of EB. Mash it all together with a potato masher. It should be creamy, just like mashed taters. Set this aside.
2.) Sautee some spinach, sundried tomatoes, basil, and garlic in a tiny bit of olive oil until everything is hot and the spinach is wilted. I use probably a packed cup of fresh spinach leaves, 1/4 sundrieds (chopped), *hella* garlic (you decide!), and about 10 basil leaves.
3.) Add the veggies to the polenta and mix thoroughly. If you're serving this right away, you're gonna have to heat it after everything is mixed because the polenta was never heated in the first place. If it fits, just put it right in the pan you were using to sautee the veggies.
The End.

Grilled Broccoli Rabe
Don't hate me for these instructions... but uh, get some broccoli rabe, and grill it, until it's, uh, grilled. You can sprinkle some garlic salt & fresh ground pepper on top. But that's pretty much it.

Meatballs in Marinara
Guilty # 2: These are store bought soy meatballs. They're from the freezer at Whole Foods (look for "vegan meatballs"), but they are so convenient, easy, delicious, and everything else here is homemade so GET OFF MY BACK!!!
All you gotta do is cover them in sauce in a saucepan, and keep stirring until they're piping hot. Hell, you could even microwave them.

Mozzarella Toasts
Slice an Italian baugette, brush the slices with EB, lay some Tofutti on top, and stick them in the oven, following the instructions I've given for Tofutti like ten times already. Alternatively, you can use Galaxy Foods' Vegan Parmesan or nutritional yeast, or any combination of these three. You really can't screw these up unless you burn them. Just try out different toppings and see what you like the best. (The picky omni boyfriend likes the parmesan ones best, I like straight nutritional yeast.)

*Yes, it is ridiculous that I used store-bought polenta because it's insanely easy to make from scratch. All you do is boil cornmeal, literally. But isn't it nice of me to let you in on all the housewife shortcuts, for all you housewives that bust your ass at the office 9 hours a day and then have to come home and cook a four-course meal? Mmm hmmm.

Tip # 1: Never make your own pizza crust from scratch. It's a miserable, frustrating experience that takes 5 billion hours and you can buy this shit already made at Trader Joe's for $2.00. But if you choose to ignore me (you masochist), just do a Google search. You can find homemade pizza dough recipes everywhere, and 99.99999% of them are already vegan.

So... once you've got your dough made, roll it out to desired shape & size, and par-bake it at... oh, I don't know... 400º. Leave it in there for just like 5 minutes, then take it out and top.

Top it with tomato sauce (wow!), Tofutti cheese (accept no substitutions), and Yves Vegan Pepperoni. Stick it back in the oven, spritz with water every couple minutes, and then when the cheese is melted, turn your oven to broil until it looks like the photo (about 3 - 4 minutes).

The pepperoni did come out a little crispy, and it said on the package that if you prefer it "juicy" to place it down before you put on the cheese. But that would have made a less pretty picture, so I did it this way. It was still good though.

Actually this pizza kind of blew my mind. I can't believe I went through my entire first vegan year without successfully making one of these. Of course I would rather munch on unprocessed whole foods fresh from the earth, but it is nice to know that this can be done. I still don't recommend any fake cheese to new vegans, because it doesn't taste "dead on" (no pun intended) like the cow stuff and it might discourage you. But once you wean yourself off the tit juice like you shoulda done when you were a wee one, your tastebuds will welcome this with open arms.

Fresh Produce from 1/19/08



Items Purchased:
1 bunch kale
1 bunch broccili rabe
1 bunch cilantro
5 carrots
1 large bellpepper
1 onion
1 head of garlic
4 lemons
Organic Content:
100%, bitches!
Total Cost:
Under $8.00

Whenever organic blueberries go on sale, you will find these at my house. I actually modified this from a "low fat" recipe, and still the only fat in here is from the EB, which is only 1/4 cup per dozen. So these are safe for the figure-watching bitches in your life, but they're still super tasty and very moist.

Ingredients:
1/4 cup Earth Balance (the Organic Whipped kind is THE BEST)
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
2 cups flour
1 TB baking powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup soy milk
2 cups fresh blueberries (you could probably use frozen)

Directions:
1.) Preheat oven to 350º. Line muffin pan with paper cupcake cups or grease with a teeny tiny bit of canola oil.
2.) Whisk the EB & Applesauce together in a bowl. The EB will be a little speckly.
3.) Add in the soymilk & vanilla, and mix well.
4.) Add the dry ingredients and stir just until mixed. You do not want to over mix. Add blueberries. Spoon into muffin cups., filling three-quarters full.
5.) Bake about 30 minutes, or give them ye ole' toothpick poker test*.

Eat these mothers straight outta the oven, preferably topped with some more EB and agave nectar. They will stay nice and fresh for a couple days if you put them in an airtight container. Take them to work the next day and share with your coworkers... so you can amaze them with the fact that these are very low-fat and cholesterol-free.

*Don't know about the toothpick thing? When you think your baked goods are done, stick a toothpick right down the middle of one. If it comes out clean, take your stuff out of the oven. If you see batter, they ain't ready.

If you saw the movie "Ratatouille", you know it's an old French peasant dish, that's kind of a vegetable stew. Mine has eggplant, zucchini, bellpeppers, and onion. I have no idea if that's traditionally accurate, but it's at least close, and it's good as a mofo.

Ratatouille

the veggies
· 1 eggplant, peeled & cubed
· 1 large bell pepper, cut into squares approx. 3/4 inch
· 1 onion, sliced into rings
· 2 zucchinis, sliced into 3/4 in rounds (see photo!)
· Tomatoes (I used 4 Roma, so if you use a bigger tomato, use less), diced

the spices
· lots of Minced Garlic (I used like 6 cloves)
· 1/4 c olive oil
· 2 heaping TB Herbs de Provence
· 1 TB salt
· fresh ground pepper to taste

*You will also need 1 TB of balsamic vinegar, but not until the end.

the procedure
1.) Preheat oven to 450º
2.) Eggplant is super moist, and you want to get rid of that moisture by tossing it with salt and setting it inside of a towel.
3.) While that's happenning, you can prepare the spices. Just put all of them (except balsamic) together in a small bowl and mix.
4.) Once the eggplant is dry, combine everything EXCEPT the tomatoes in a bowl and mix with your hands until everything is coated with the oil mixture.
5.) Spread the veggies into one layer on a roasting pan, and roast them for about 30 minutes, until they are fall-apart soft.
6.) Take them out of the oven, pour back into the bowl, and mix in the tomatoes and balsamic vinegar.
7.) You're done! Serve this over some quinoa* and stick in some pretty crostini.

*You can start cooking the quinoa when you stick the veggies in the oven, and they should all be done at the same time.

Fresh Produce from 1/13/08


Items Purchased:
· 4 russet potatoes
· 1 head of garlic
· 3 carrots
· 1 bunch of rainbow chard
· 1 mystery squash
· 1 pink lady apple
· 4 lemons
· 4 baby bok choy's
Organic Content:
79% (the only taters I could find were pesticide-free, but not certified organic)
Total Cost:
Under $11.00

Hello, Lover...


After a trip to Pizza Plaza last weekend, I knew vegan cheese could be mastered. So I purchased some Tofutti and went for it. As you can see, I was extra skimpy on the cheese, because soy cheese has always been disastrous for me, but I ended up regretting it as Tofutti is amazing. AMAZING!!! Yes, you can tell it's not cow cheese, but oh my dog it is damn close.

I didn't make this crust, Pillsbury did. For shame, I know, I know. But as this was very experimental, I didn't want to pour my heart and soul into it and have it taste like poop.

1.) Par-bake the crust by sticking it in a 400º oven for 8 minutes, then take it out to top.
2.) Cut the Tofutti into slivers, sprinkle them evenly, then add fresh basil, fresh minced garlic, and sundried tomatoes. (The basil & garlic were swirled around in some olive oil before I put them on.)
3.) Put the pizza back in the oven for about 10 minutes more, stopping in a few times to spritz them with water. (See the note on my previous entry about water spritzing.)
4.) Your pizza is done. Slice, eat, and be amazed.

I have officially conquered the obstacles of soy cheese!
Actually the cheese I used to make this was not soy, but made with rice flour or something. (It was 100% soy-free for those with allergies!) The cheese is "Vegan Rella", which I would love to link to, but I cannot find it online for the life of me. I purchased it from Country Sun Natural Foods in Palo Alto. It captured the texture of cheese magnificently, which is not an easy task. The taste was a little bit off, compared to cow cheese, but it was pretty f'ing good for what it was, and this comes from a super picky eater. I like to put a tomato slice on my grilled cheese, and I think that would overpower the hint of "I can tell this is not real cheese" you get from it. Anyway, the recipe:

Vegan Grilled Cheese
Here's a secret... it's not grilled!
1.) Preheat your oven to 375º
2.) "Butter" 2 slices of bread with a fine layer of Earth Balance.
3.) Slice some Cheddar Vegan Rella pretty thin, and lay it on top of the non-buttered side of the bread.
4.) Place the slices, buttered side down, on a baking stone or cookie sheet in the oven.
5.) Leave them in there for about 4 minutes, then open the oven door and spritz them with water*. (then close the door, dummy!)
6.) Wait another 4 minutes, and spritz with water again.
7.) Turn your oven to BROIL mode to finish the job, and don't leave! Turn the light on and watch through the window, the cheese will start to bubble and brown. In like 2 minutes, or when it looks like a damn fine specimen of sandwich, take it out.
8.) If you're going to put a tomato or green chile slice, now is the time to do it.
9.) Put the cheese sides together and slice down the middle. Your grilled cheese sandwich is now ready. Serve it with fries or potato chips for a kiddie-menu treat.

*Water-spritzing is the secret to vegan cheese. You want to keep it moist, and you can do this by poking your head in every once in awhile and spraying. Just use one of those spray bottles you can find in the cosmetic or gardening aisles. A fine mist is all you need. The more you experiment with vegan cheese, the better you'll get. I hadn't successfully done it until the day before my one-year vegan'niversary. But that was because I gave up after one bad batch. Don't give up! It can be done, and I am here to help. :)

From Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World, these are the basic vanilla cupcake, with either chocolate or vanilla buttercream frosting. Can you find my Gay Pride Cuppies?

I'm going to start documenting my Farmer's Market finds, because I want to spread the word on how incredible they are. Farmer's Markets are the BEST way to get your produce. Why? Because:

1.) It's as FRESH as possible, next to growing in your backyard. The farmers pick, load up the trucks, and set up a booth. When you buy produce in the store, it's been picked, shipped, distributed, sorted, then put out by the stock boy before you see it. Sometimes it's been shipped from another country! You're saving DAYS, and therefore your stuff will last longer (which also saves you money, see below).
2.) Since there is no middleman (or *men* in some cases), it's the CHEAPEST place to find produce, so not only can you afford to incorporate more fresh veggies into your life, you're more inclined to try new things, and you can buy as much or as little as you want.
3.) You are supporting local FAMILY businesses instead of the mega mass producers.
4.) Mostly everything is ORGANIC, which is the clean alternative to cluttering your body and the earth with a buch of toxic pesticides.
5.) Minimal ENVIRONMENTAL impact. Remember those trucks & planes that drive / fly shit up here from El Salvadore? That takes a lot of fuel, sweetheart. My produce is only driven a couple hours (at the absolute most). It's also not packaged in a bunch of plastic, nor are there stickers on it. (Every little counts.)

The Farmer's Market is also a pleasureable experience. Walking outdoors on a crisp weekend morning, browsing beautiful, colorful, fragrant produce, inhaling the fresh air... it just feels nice. (It's also the perfect way to refresh your body after a night of heavy drinking.) Many of the markets even have fresh vegan food cooking, my favorite of which is a mixed veggie naan wrap. Bring your Green Bag, swing it over your shoulder, and throw your fruits & veggies right in there. Head home, rinse, and enjoy!

I had already taken a couple bites before I remembered to photograph this. This was my first time making BBQ seitan, and holy shit, it was amazing.

BBQ SEITAN
Okay, so this is not really "barbequed", but it is drenched in BBQ sauce and it tasted freshly grilled, so that's what we're gonna call it.
1.) Buy a package of seitan (pronounced say-TAN, just like the Devil!)
2.) Mix some BBQ sauce with water, until it's thinned out but not watery. You need like 1/3 cup of the mixture, so put about that much BBQ in the skillet and then keep adding water unti it looks like a bisque. (You won't screw it up, I promise!)
3.) Heat that on medium.
4.) Cut the seitan into thin slices, like a quarter of an inch thick.
5.) Once the BBQ sauce starts bubbling, put in the seitan and cover.
6.) The seitan is done when it's hot.
7.) Serve on a toasted bun, but not quite as toasted as the one in my pic. (WHOOPS!)

Roasted Garlic and Rainbow Chard Mashed Potatoes
I have already included a recipe for mashed potatoes, and these are the same with some rainbow chard and roasted garlic mixed / smashed in. But here's how you prepare the garlic & greens:
Roasted Garlic
1.) Preheat the oven to 350º
2.) Rip cloves off of a head of garlic, but don't peel them. Just take off the papery part. Don't worry if you accidentally peel them too much or not enough, they'll be fine.
3.) Put the garlic in the oven for about 20-25 minutes.
4.) Once it's cool, peel off the remaining skin. It should have separated from the clove, but that top crispy skin part might still be looming about. Cut that thing off.
Rainbow Chard*
1.) Wash. (Do I have to tell you this?)
2.) Rip the leaves off of the stem. Some stems are fine, but the huge ones are not okay.
3.) Steam! (You can either a.) put this in a bowl with a little water, cover, and microwave, b.) use a steamer, c.) put in a skillet / pot with a little water, cover, and heat till wilty, or d.) just boil or sautee the damn things.
*The same instructions apply for any green... kale, spinach, collards, Swiss chard, etc etc.

About the taters... greens and potatoes is the greatest food combo known to man, second only to chocolate and peanut butter. It's magical! When you're making these smashers, just prepare as usual and then throw in the greens and garlic mid-mash. Be mindful of the garlic, because it may not smash and distribute evenly / remain in big pieces. Unless you got mad skillz, it's a good idea to mince it before you add.

Now that I look at it, this meal could have done with some veggies on the side. If you make this, grill or boil some corn too, please.